the Sage By Nature blog

Long ago I naively believed the books and the trainers when they said you need to be a good “herd leader” for your horse.

But I was never really part of Sage’s herd.

Herd Member Or Poor Substitute?

I would blow in like the wind a few times a week, interject myself into her daily rhythm, and then go back to my home and family. On a good day I might be seen as a grooming buddy, a diversion from boredom, a source for food, and someone she liked to spend time with, but I was never a herd member.

However, for years I lived under this “herd” delusion. It was fueled in part by the fact that she had very few options to replace me. She would always come willingly to me when she saw me, even away from food. In the boarding environment, she was normally stalled as well as turned out alone. I used to feel happy and proud when she came up to see me; I felt she was truly bonded to me, and she was looking at me like her “herd leader”. I had achieved what the books said I should achieve. I was a success with my horse – or was I just a poor substitute for horse companionship?

Herd Companionship Is A Very Basic Need

For most of 2008 and 2009, Sage wasn’t stalled but instead lived alone 24/7 in a large turnout with shelter, separated from other horses by hotwire. No one ate her food or bossed her around, things that happen in herd turnout, but she was lonely. I felt this at my core for months. Now I did not feel like a success, even though I was trying to follow some natural principles like not stalling her, allowing some grazing, etc, all hard-fought since I was at the mercy of boarding facilities.

It slowly but surely became bittersweet when she whinnied and trotted up to see me at every arrival; I knew she was happy to see me mostly to fulfill her very basic and strong need for companionship. And to escape her boredom. When I was at my home and away from her, this really gnawed at me; I found myself worrying about her way too much. It was stressful and frustrating.

Being Herd-Bound Is Not A Vice
At the beginning of this past August I moved her onto acreage with three other horses; at night, they are all stalled but in view of each other and no bars across the front of their stalls. Now, after eight years of trying to play herd leader, listening to and fulfilling her needs, addressing and overcoming her health challenges, she and I both understand that I am not the herd leader. And that is perfectly ok. She is the healthiest she has ever been and she lives 24/7 now with three other horses. When I walk out onto the acreage to get her, she comes up to me but more often than not it takes a lot of encouragement to get her to follow me back to the barn willingly without the other horses. Is she herd-bound? Most definitely!

This was bittersweet at first, something akin to seeing an old flame with a new girlfriend, but I pretty quickly overcame that since Sage and I have come from so many un-healthy and lonely (for her) boarding situations. She has been alone for too long, and who am I to deny her horse company or worse, hold it against her or ever chastise her for it? I am out to see her for less than ten hours a week, and she lives with these three other horses for 24 hours a day, seven days a week. I am content with the fact that she comes to me when she sees me, and if she is happy to run back to the herd when she is turned loose then I say, wonderful! I am fulfilled by the fact that she is content and not lonely for all those hours in the week when I am not there by her side; and I, at home, am content as well, especially when I cannot make it out to see her for a few days.

I love Sage, but I love her happy and healthy in a herd more. And that, to me, is truly successful.

addendum to this story: “Sometimes the best gifts…”